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The Bond between a Healer and Her Tank(s)
Published on May 22, 2008 by Phaelia 
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I’m writing this in direct response to the article "Synergies between Tanks and Healers" by SaladFork of Omen of Clarity in which he describes a special bond that he’s formed with a Holy Paladin frequently assigned to help keep him alive during raids. Be sure to read the whole article, but here’s a snippet for context:
Being a tank means you’re a constant magnet for heals (obviously), but it still sends a tingle down your spine when you see your health bar topping off and noticing that one healer giving it their all just to keep YOU alive. It’s almost an instant friendship, and it’s hard to describe.
As SaladFork is typically specced Feral for the purpose of tanking, he’s written the article primarily from a tank’s point of view. I’d like to share my own thoughts on the matter from a healer’s perspective.
I definitely think there is a sort of empathy that develops between tanks and healers, and that this relationship is even more pronounced when the healer is played by a female and the tank is played by a male. Typical gender roles hold that women are generally nurturers while men are generally protectors. I think this is one reason so many real life couples — including Mr. Phae and myself — often gravitate toward Healer-Tank pairs. In such a relationship, the female player will sometimes even make suboptimal choices in terms of talent spec and gear selection while leveling to further enhance her healing abilities (i.e., speccing more deeply Restoration and forgoing more damage-oriented talents in the Balance tree). This behavior is likely less pronounced in male players who tend to play more min-maxxed characters and have little reservation about "tanking with a 2-hander."
Real life relationships aside, a bond can develop between a healer and her tank(s) over time. There is something that feels very protective about being the healer to drop out of Tree form to cast a Nature’s Swiftness + Healing Touch for 9K hit points on a tank who you just know would otherwise have been so much Cream-of-Bear without you. Likewise, a tank that uses an addon that displays incoming heals and the person who casts them (with a threshold to prevent the overwhelming display of HoT-ticks), is likely to feel a special affinity for the healer(s) who consistently go above and beyond to keep him alive. I would like to think that this is especially true for Druids since rolling one or more HoTs on a tank represents a constant influx of healing and attention, almost like — at the risk of sounding corny — wrapping him in a warm blanket.
It is for this reason that I have developed and foster a relationship with one of my guild tanks in particular. I send him the Healing Potions, Protection scrolls, and Stamina food I come across, and he, in turn, sends me any Super Mana Potions, and Intellect or Spirit scrolls. And while I don’t frequently assign myself as his specific healer (since he is one of the better-geared tanks and can get by without my constant attention), I make an effort to keep HoTs on him even when I’m healing someone else.
Besides tanks, a healer’s frequent need-to-nurture can work to the advantage of DPS players. There is a female Gnome Rogue in my guild (with pink hair, no less) that SQUEAKS every time she’s hit. Even though I know she’s played by a male in real life (and a very nice one at that), there is an automatic "OH NO DON’T LET HER DIE SHE’S SO CUTE!" reaction the instant I hear that sound. And I’m sure I’m not the only one. If I ever did play a Warrior tank, I’d make sure she were a Gnome. Then I’d get all the heals!
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*hugs* .-= Softi´s last blog ..Dum di dum di dum =-.
“I definitely think there is a sort of empathy that develops between tanks and healers, and that this relationship is even more pronounced when the healer is played by a female and the tank is played by a male. Typical gender roles hold that women are generally nurturers while men are generally protectors. I think this is one reason so many real life couples — including Mr. Phae and myself — often gravitate toward Healer-Tank pairs.”
You know the funny thing about this, is that I usually play the healer type, and my girlfriend usually plays the tank type. Do you think that means I am a nurturing type and she is the protector? I know the reason why I like to be a healer, is because I like being the support roles, making everybody better by buffing them or just keeping them alive.
You know something similar happens with my rogue and a friend tank of mine
I know he can do the threat so I can unleash more dps
and he knows mobs die faster when I’m hitting them (and never miss a stun when needed)
on other tanks its spam feint and vanish
and on the other part fights take longer for my buddy tank when I’m not there.
It’s very true. The group that I leveled in, I noticed once we were in over-60 content, our tank tended to send me those pots and scrolls that Phae noted, and I would make him (even though his character is female) bandages and throw health pots in his direction.
Even now, in heroics with other tanks, I am constantly aware of the state of the tank, even while throwing heals at our dps/cc, and likewise from their end. If I start to take damage, I have a tank next to me usually faster than I can move to them, pulling the aggro off so I can keep on healing.
It’s a great synergy and one I enjoy very much. And I do tend to get mana pots and golden fish sticks tossed at me on a regular basis, even though I dont need the mana pots nearly as much now.
As the healer of a healer/tank wife/husband pair, I think that the synergy that you can create is definitely something that’s tangible in game. Especially in small group situations.
For 25 man raid healing, as a resto shaman, I feel the most connected to the melee DPS that I’m so often in charge of healing. They’re *my* melee. I take care of them, and in turn, they make things ded. And while I certainly have a good relationship with all the tanks in the raid, I feel most protective of my husband (our pally tank) for obvious reasons, and those melee scrubs.
I’m male, but I always play female characters, and my main is a resto druid. I tried tanking and healing, but I prefer healing. The interesting thing about tanking and healing is that, raid-wise, neither class does much killing. A tank runs a raid and takes the damage so others don’t die, while the healer keeps the tank (and everyone else) up.
“I feel the most connected to the melee DPS that I’m so often in charge of healing. They’re *my* melee. I take care of them, and in turn, they make things ded.”
<3 Our melee has this sort of relationship with our one resto shaman. Rain of Fire? Green shit on the ground? No worries! We get healed and the lazor beam heals tell us exactly who did it. Frequently the melee call out “Thanks I***” etc. as we know without her we’d get less love.
I think another part to a close relationship of any sort between characters in a raid / instance situation is the fact that you simply are aware of their exact limits. You know when your tank needs less healing or more and when they will use their cooldowns etc. They make your job easier as a healer because you can predict more easily the incoming damage and mitigate it. From the tank side of things they know where you are and will likely be (in case of mobs deciding to be your new best friend) and they know to trust your heals will come and not waste cooldowns.
Like any relationship, I guess, the more trust you have in the other person the easier it is to work together and the better you will end up working as a team.
/hug
/vanish
I was reading this article, and it brought to light a very good point that i never truly thought of.
As both a healer (resto drood) and a tank (paladin), i have a profound understanding of the relationship of the two.
As a tank, it is MY job to take the threat, and i am very VERY thankful to that healer that keeps me going. WIthout that healer, i have no mana, no health, and well, threat goes everywhere.
As a healer, he’s MY tank, as no one else in the party is gonna take care of him/her (bandaids i found, don’t generally work too well
) Especially if i have a paladin tank, what does it show when i take it upon myself to play a game with his health, trying to keep him at 80% thus maximizing the mana returned to him through my heals?
Thank you Phae for linking his story, and providing your perspective, it is indeed always refreshing.
Response on my blog, it got a bit long ^^;
@archmera: is that how it works? I was under the impression only effective healing returned mana.
I was actually sent this link on the eve of a long time away from the game(work reasons) by the very person i feel this way about. Im a pally tank on the lightbringer server, and while i have met many good healers ( a very good pally healer iv been friends with for a long time, if you ever get chance to raid with him he will not disapoint) I never feel more comfortable when i have syrah(unber resto druid)I know i can always rely on her. she has never let me down(even while healing under the influence haha) because of the time weve spent doing runs pretty much every day for the time I’v been in the guild i now see myself as her protector, I know exactly what buffs she needs and when, and always use my bublles on her when I know she might take the smallest scratch or if a wipe is pending. I always provide her with fishsticks and any mana pots that drop i give priority to her.
I may wind her up about wanting to tank more mobs than i should really, but at times i know i can only because its her and not a pugged healer i dont know and cant rely on to stand and heal me rather than screaming “WIPE” and running. I go out my way to save her, using divine intervention or simply holding mobs giving her time to run, as i know she goes out of her way to save me when tanking.
As a tank i recommend you all find that one special healer, never let her down and she will repay that with kindness in turn.
Thankyou syrah, youve made it so il never look at another healer in the same way.
When you’re putting your virtual life in their virtual hands, there’s always some underlying trush that forms. As a tank, you need to trust that your healer is awake, alert, and ready to heal you. You count on them to inform you of anything going on that may affect them so you can correct. You rely on their feedback to improve your game and adjust your playstyle.
As a healer, you put your faith in the tank to hold aggro so as to not make your job a living hell. You count on them to keep you abreast of their intent so you can make sure your heals are effective, efficient and timely.
With the two-way trust that forms, having a regular healer often leads to even simple friendships forming. I know that in my own ancedotal experiences.. every healer I’ve run with more than once, I’ve formed a friendship of sorts.
My guild has quite alot of husband and wife teams. Two of these pairs are my guild leader and his wife who are a warrior/Spriest combo and the other two that i have known in game for a very long time now before my current guild are a warrior/moonkin team. Although their wives are definitly more inclined to burn someones face off with a starfire or blast their minds to oblivion both warriors are our main tanks and damn good at it too. I dont know about men always min maxing while the women try to keep a good mix. Of course both of them are hybrids so maybe im just crazy.
Ive allways thought of lifeblooms as a weave and you have to keep that weave up like in Wheel of Time (can you tell im a fan boy?). So i guess that could be close to a blanket (threads=threads in blanket?). Wether or not its a blanket im still sad when someone dies. The tank to healer relationship is all about trust and knowing when that trust goes beyond probability and posibilty, such as the tank getting crushed for 13k…>.> but anyway! This is one of the most importent parts of a good raid team in my own opinion. Knowing your fellow healers as well as your nightly tanks on an intimite level is key. When a new tank or healer comes into the fold it is crucial that they feel this bond or they will become a chain link on the outside no use to any one. Some might say this is the difference between the core raid group and the rest but the tanks and the healers cant just be hangers on.
Also gnomes get healed more and get away with alot more just because there gnomes. How can you yell at that cute little gnome when he pulls agro? Of course now everyone who remembers my gnome will allways think of me as that silly little bouncing ball of energy that used to play annoying music over vent. ^_^ This dosen’t work as good when the guy playing the gnome has a really deep voice though… I can see you playing a 2H war Phae =)
As a different take on the story, I find that male healers function equally well in the “protector” role of healing. My tank and I banter (and sometimes bet) on who will die first. We simply guarantee each other that neither will die before we will… and both take on a “brothers in arms” mentality. Does this mean I out-heal the safe aggro limits when the other healers may be slacking? Yeah… and it means that the tank is so concerned about him dying first that he’s quick with the intervene etc =P
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I’ve noticed this kind of bond as well, from both sides of things (though more as a tank, since I tank more challenging content than I heal). For every “warm blanket” of healing they give me, my healers get an equally warm (though slightly worse-smelling) bear hug in return!
Speaking of bears, I was especially pleased by your use of the phrase “…would otherwise have been so much Cream-of-Bear…”
I actually like to tell people I was “turned into a Bear Pancake” when things go wrong. 
For some reason, equating a smooshed Bear tank to some kind of breakfast food seems like an appropriate analogy!
I’m also glad to hear that a lot of others have the same habit of sending fishsticks and other goodies to their healers. I always thought of it as the equivalent of baking them cookies… well, maybe not *equivalent*… but what they lack in chocolatey goodness, they make up for in +Healing and Omega-3 Fatty Acids! It’s the thought that counts….
Hey there Phae! I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time, so I’m glad you’ve made a post on it.
While I truly appreciate the bond that can form between tank and healer, I know (from personal experience as a healer), that sometimes this can be detrimental. Between raid healing, off-tanking healing, and main tank healing, healers need to be carry out their tasks at 100% effort, BEFORE helping out in other areas. Of course this means that druid healers often go beyond this 100% effort (which I’m sure we’re all used to doing). Sometimes though, the almost INSTINCTIVE urge to heal your tank can hurt the party/raid. An example might be the Delrissa fight, where keep the tank alive isn’t the highest priority; or after enterring phase 2 of Kael’thas, where a tank falls to second priority. yet your instincts are screaming at you to keep your dear tank alive. Well just wanted to add my 2 cents worth. It’s been an insightful read.
An insightful article as usual *smiles* Though the healer/tank bond is a strong one, those same bonds form between all the people that raid together often. My favourite – hearing ‘Leave my healer alone!’ yelled over Vent during a particarly intense fight – and this from a rogue who was not my ‘to be kept alive’ assignment. *chuckles* A stray mob made a bee-line for me, to be intercepted and promptly dealt with in true rogue fashion. It’s that ‘in-tuneness’ between eveyone there that makes my experience all the more rewarding.
Chaen